About my journey

Ever since I can remember, I’ve moved through life wanting to look like an Instagram model with the ‘ideal’ body. From a young age I was never satisfied with the way I looked. I remember being made fun of in primary school, being called an “indian” due to the beauty spot on the centre of my forehead. I tried to cover it with bangs and makeup my entire school career, instead of accepting the way I was created. My self esteam was heavily influenced by my appearance which led me to believe that my blemishes and body size defined me. I recall excessively exercising in order to get thinner and leaner thighs as I my bone structure was larger than my older sisters. Fast forward to a few moths later, I began to accept my curves and wanted the trending “hourglass figure”. Thinking that “get abs and a bigger booty in a week” youtube workouts would solve my problems. Little did I know I’d develop body dysmorphia and an eating disorder in the process. 

I’m proud to share my journey coping with an eating disorder, depression, and self-love as a shy, insecure teen. It’s overwhelming  growing up in today’s western society a brown muslim girl. If it’s not a comment about my wardrobe or not covering my hair with a hijab, then it’s about my body shape or academic grades. Growing up in a brown household meant avoiding discussions about mental health, relationships and sexuality. The transition from a teen to a young adult allowed me to distance myself from those oppressing individuals with comments like “this is the way things should be done” or “You need to…” Little did I know this is how the brown culture does things, as someone always has an opinion about what you’re not doing right in life. 
I hope to inspire more guys and girls to share their journey and reach out for help. I often think about how different my life could’ve been if I’d spoken up sooner and gotten the help I needed.